Category Archives: marriage and relationships

Hot Flashes

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newsflashToday, instead of the Flashback blog that I had promised, we will post an independent publishing NEWS FLASH ! Short, sweet and to the point!

Flashes, are good  – it means something is hot, scintillating, light filled or illuminating! Here is the announcement ~

Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected has been nominated as a FINALIST in the

Colorado Independent Publishers Association EVVY Book Awards – anthology category!

 

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Tomorrow on All Things Fulfilling  there will be another sweet treat for our readers –flashbacks to songs for baby boomers! You are invited to celebrate with me.

shortbread pansie cookies

 

This blog is brought to you by author Sue Batton Leonard. For more information and ordering Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected, please visit this link. http://amzn.to/VcIcTO. Now available in audio book (the voice holds the real treat), paperback and e-book.

 

Domestic Duties

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“The best time to plan a book is while doing the dishes.” ~ Agatha Christy

On All Things Fulfilling sometimes we jump from subject to subject. This is “Flashbacks Week.” So today is the first in a series of words and images that will stir your memories of an era gone by.

For many Americans, the 1950’s evokes images of domestic duties that have now gone by the wayside. Before the 1970s,  “household domestics, ” were often hired to assist families with household tasks. This was more prevalent in homes south of the Mason-Dixon line.  Baby boomers who remember “those days” will relate to my memoir and will have interest in this article. http://www.safemotherhood.org/domestic-work.html

When was the last time you saw a women spending part of her day doing the following:

  • Polishing sterling silver
  • Manually sprinkling clothes and rolling them before ironing
  • Making school lunches and wrapping the food in waxed paper
  • Setting out crystal salt and pepper dishes at in front of each place when setting the table
  • Teaching the next generation how to properly set a table, with several size spoons & forks, special butter knifes, crystal goblets and bone china.
  • Hosting a weekly “bridge party” with tea sandwiches, homemade baked goods, and a little afternoon glass of sherry.
  • Starching the tablecloths and sheets and ironing them.
  • Darning toes and heels of socks
  • Icing a cake wearing an apron and pearls

Memoirs are made out pictures of our past. Some people use recollections to create written legacies, like myself.

Do return to All Things Fulfilling tomorrow. This blog brought to you by the author of “Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected” by Sue Batton Leonard. For information and ordering, follow this link.http://amzn.to/1mCmyQd

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Chiggers at Vespers

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“Oh, no!” I said out loud to myself, as I finally read my mothers e-mail correspondence from last weekend. My sister has the chiggers.

“Wow, does that ever bring back memories,” I thought. The first time I ever  heard of the chiggers was when my parents sent us twins off to overnight church camp in Virginia. Camp Glenkirk holds many fond memories for me. I recall my mother’s anxiety as she and my dad drove off leaving us girls in someone else’s hands for a week. It was the first time I was away overnight from my parents since my “pioneering” heart surgery.

Although I didn’t completely understand the magnitude of that turning point in my life, I know it was a step toward independence from the watchful eye of my parents. I don’t recall my uneasiness, only that of my mother’s. My anchor, my rock, my twin sister was by my side. And when there were certain strenuous camp activities that I was unable to participate in, my sister sat on the sidelines with me. She never left me behind. What a loyal sister! quotesonprayer

What I  also remember is when we went to evening vespers (evening group prayer), I prayed saying, “Lord a Mercy,” (mimicking Fanny, the stellar character in my memoir), “please don’t let me get the chiggers!” I’d heard from other campers that they itch something awful.God knows, there were plenty of them in the backwoods of  Virginia but, I managed to stay free – I guess someone greater than myself was watching out for me.

Jan – I hope you get rid of those chiggers real quick! Find something to sooth the itch! Be still and know that it is just the chiggers driving you crazy!

Today’s blog is brought to you by author Sue Batton Leonard and that was just another childhood memory  not included in my publication Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.

Hand-Me-Down Memories

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Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. ~Hans Christian Andersen

I don’t think there is a person alive who doesn’t attach memories to the cars they’ve owned. The car my twin sister and I had in college was a hand-me-down from our parents. They thought the Plymouth wagon had seen it’s better days, but we proved them wrong, big time.

Our college friends nicknamed the vehicle the “The Batmobile.” My maiden name is Batton, hence, the moniker made sense! It was one of the most recognizable cars on campus because it was as long and wide as a barge, and our friends could see us coming down the pike from far distances. For me, just seeing over the steering wheel was a challenge.

We carted around as many fellow students as we possibly could, with all their gear, to Stowe http://www.stowe.com and Smugglers Notch Ski Areas http://www.smuggs.com and places way beyond. We’d pack  ’em in like sardines, because seat belts were unheard of in those days. Off we’d head for another day on the slopes. The Batmobile could slurp the gas alright, almost as quickly as it was filled up. And when the fuel gauge finally gave up the ghost we had to keep an emergency gas fund just in case. After all we were only poor college students with limited budgets.

One fall weekend, my twin and I and our girlfriends decided to go hiking on the Long Trail http://www.greenmountaintrail.org (an extension of the Appalachian Trail  www.appalachiantrail.org ). Being typical college students we…. ummmm….sometimes got hair brained ideas. We decided we’d be trail blazers and take the lazy louts approach to hiking. We drove as far as we possibly could up the Long Trail and parked it. The next day when we returned to our car after spending the night on the trail in the cabins, here is a photo of what we were faced with. One of our housemates had gotten wind of our plans, and decided to play a prank. BATMOBILE It was all in good fun, and one of my most dear memories from Johnson State College http://www.jsc.edu. This blog is brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of Gift of a Lifetime:Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.Click for Info & Ordering

Sweetness Contained Within

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If God had intended us to follow recipes, he wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.~ Linda Henley

candy dish

Discover Magazine has a compelling article about the influences our forebears play on the genes of the brain.  Check out this article which gives testimony to whether we grow up to be resilient people or not.

http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epigenetic-mark-on-your-genes.

Isn’t it funny the things we remember from our childhood? Memories of arriving at my grandmother’s house contain nothing but sweet nourishment within. Her crystal candy dish on the buffet table in the dining room was the first place we’d head after we left her arms of welcoming love.

When my siblings and I take trips down memory lane, we often talk about the candies that could be dependably found in our grandmother’s vessel that held confections. Dependably, the candy dish was filled to the top in anticipation of our coming. Butter mints, spearmint leaves, fruit jellies, nonpareils were among our favorites. And then there was the other candy dish on the coffee table in her living room – that always held the hard candies – such as the candy fruit straws (I wasn’t so fond of those), hard sour balls, old fashioned ribbon candy at Christmas, raspberry hard candy with the soft centers and, of course, my favorite –  lemon drops.

Just thinking about them all is enough to make my mouth water. There was never any limit to how many candies we ate. In fact, my Grandmother was consumed with the thought that we might leave her home without full bellies, and fed us until even our eyes were bulging.

My mother is the same way about nourishing her grandchildren with food and emotional support.She’s prepared day and night to take in any number of them and give them what ever they need.  But, my mother is more of a modern grandmother type. She’s known to her eight grandchildren as ” just their Meems.”

This blog brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of  “Gift of a Lifetime:Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.”

  Sue’s memoir

Grandmothers Apron

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Nature was in her beryl apron, mixing fresher air. ~ Emily Dickinson

apron grandma at the sinkAs a follow-up to the blogs posted earlier in the week,  it sure makes a difference when individuals  have the right teachers, mentors and family support in their lives.

Although Fanny, a character in my memoir,” takes the cake,” in my story, I am very grateful for all of my family. Strong relationships are of fundamental importance. Beautiful memories I have of when all three generations gathered around the dinner table at my grandparents house. Their dining room was small and barely held all of us. What mattered was the wonderful feelings that were felt as we held hands and said grace before dinner. The food was always bountiful and lovingly prepared by my grandmother, as it has always been at my mother’s house.

When I think of my grandmother I think of her  in the kitchen, dressed in her apron. Her sweet disposition was as large as the big apron she generously filled out. Back in her day, women wouldn’t have been caught casually dressed at any time of day or night. Even when her day was spent cooking, she was outfitted in a pretty “house dress,” as she called it, with stockings, shoes with heels (never flats – I don’t think she even owned a pair) and a coating of colorful lipstick which was freshly applied several times a day. She always looked so pretty.

Today I would like to share a link to a blog that has a wonderful poem all about aprons and the magnitude of their importance. http://www.withagratefulheart.com/2007/07/grandmas-apron.html. The poem reflects upon the purpose of aprons other than  utilitarian.

Last fall when I began volunteering in our church kitchen nearly every week serving community dinners, I began getting used  to wearing an apron. A borrowed one from the United Methodist Church Women. The other day I read that aprons are making a come back and there are companies who are updating the apron form with art and style! Here is a link to some cute ones from 4 Generations Studio. http://etsy.me/1mx5ryr. A good gift to put on a Christmas wish list.

This blog brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of  Gift of a Lifetime:Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected. Sue’s memoir

 

Cradled in a Hammock of Love

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There is nothing that moves a loving father’s soul quite like his child’s cry.” ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

Happy Fathers Day to all dads everywhere!

In retrospect, it makes me laugh when I think that we gave my father a hammock as a present one Father’s Day. If you read my memoir you will understand that my dad spent enough time rocking away his time when I was little, soothing my crying!

Peeps with his big catch May 2013He set a fine example as a father figure. My dad was not the kind of father who went off to the office and  left the raising of us kids entirely to our mother.  He was an active participant.  A father’s impact on his children is so important to their healthy development.  http://bit.ly/1hrAuwu.

We kids have been his loyal companions participating in all the things he’s always  liked to do -boating, fishing, skiing, building, crabbing, gardening and much more.

Today, I’d like to acknowledge all that my father has taught me and all that he put up with us kids. My twin sister and I were constantly nagging at him about this or that. “You girls are going to drive me crazy,” he’d say, when we became teenagers. Admittedly, my sister and I were enough to drive him cuckoo with our double trouble.

It’s no wonder he turned completely gray so prematurely at 27. I was probably way more than half the cause of it. (My son inherited his genes on that one!) It’s evident if you read my memoir I was lucky. I got to spend extra one-on-one time with my dad because of the circumstances of my birth. My sister and brothers have had her fair share of days alone with my father, however. Since I married, I’ve  always lived far from the rest of the family.

Even though my father thought we’d drive him crazy, there was never any no doubt that he loved us kids. We can just feel it and words are not necessary to explain it.

Happy Father’s Day, Peeps. 

P.S. I’m pretty sure that my sister and I didn’t drive him crazy! He is 86 years old and still very sharp!  He can remember the names of almost anyone he has met before. In my opinion, his four children and eight grandchildren are what has really kept him going.

This blog brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of Gift of a Liftetime:Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.Sue’s memoir See you tomorrow on All Things Fulfilling.

 

Horse Sense

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“Be true to your work, your word and your friends.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

The phone rang last Tuesday night. It was Mary Grace calling – my childhood friend who is featured in one of the chapters of my memoir “Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.” I hadn’t spoken with her since my book was published and sometimes decades pass by between our telephone conversations. Yet every time we talk it’s like a only a day has gone by since I’ve seen her.

“Sue, I want to buy some copies of your book.  Oh – and I need one for myself.”

I was delighted and of course, we had to take a trip down memory lane while we were speaking.

“Do you remember the time we cleaned your fathers garage out?” She asked.

“No, I don’t.” I replied.

“You don’t remember that?” Mary Grace asked in astonishment.

“No, why did we do that?” I inquired.  After all, kids typically have better ways to expend their energy.

“Because a radio station was giving away a pony, and I was going to win it!” Mary Grace said.

“What?”

“That’s right,” said Mary Grace. “My parents said they wouldn’t have it.”(the pony Mary knew she was going to win).

It didn’t surprise me that her parents said that. They had enough stuff going on at their house . They were a big Catholic family with even more kids than the Battons.

“So you, Jan (my twin sister) and I,” Mary Grace continued, “had determined we were going to clean out your garage of all your fathers construction and building equipment so I could put my pony in it. We wanted to be prepared for the horse’s arrival. We were certain it would be arriving momentarily, as soon as I made my call to the radio station to claim it.

I cracked up laughing on the telephone because I didn’t recall the incident.

As Mary Grace recounted the disappointment she felt that she didn’t win the pony, I couldn’t help think how she has had a very fulfilling life even though that pony didn’t come through for her then, not until decades later.

Mary has always had horse sense and knew to follow her interest in animals and built a very successful veterinary practice. Now she is semi-retired and has turned her focus to wildlife. She is studying and documenting black-footed ferrets in their natural environment. They are currently on the endangered species list. I hope some day she will write about and publish her research.

As we ended our conversation, I was buoyed by the fact that our friendship in still in tact after all these years. Mary, I hope to scout you out toward the end of the summer with some good news that my sister is going to take a trip West so we can have our own reunion. Today I’d like to say your friendship has always been a gift to me, and I’d like to express my heartfelt gratefulness.


 mary kellogg on horse young age

 Mary taking riding lessons as a young teenager as

her mom looks on.

Photo compliment of www.unbridledimages.com

mary kellogg with horse as adult

 Mary as a veterinarian with her beloved horses.

Photo credit: www.unbridledimages.com

Check out the Facebook Page for Unbridled Images, too! http://on.fb.me/1lYBreC

Do return tomorrow. I’ll be blogging about sisters of the heart. I will be posting a photo of me and my twin sister that I had never seen before last Friday. It will have historic value to my family. I can’t wait to surprise them.

This blog brought to you brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of Gift of a Lifetime:Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.Sue’s memoir

Life Transitions

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Since I left high school in Towson, Maryland in 1971, I rarely have looked back to those teen years. In fact I have never driven by the site of the school, not even to get a glimpse to see if anything has changed and I’ve never returned for a high school reunion.

A couple of summers ago when I was in the area of where I grew up, visiting family, I did drive by my three childhood homes, all within the same neighborhood. How I was feeling was hard to grasp. I suppose it could be described as a mixture of beautiful feelings and a very quick dash of sadness that life marched forward. The melancholy feelings lasted only a few brief minutes.

Funny, isn’t it, how some people live their entire lives in one place feeling completely fulfilled and others move on. For me,  I can’t imagine having stayed for all these years in the same environment where I spent my childhood.

My husband feels the same way. He left his childhood surroundings on the northern shores of Massachusetts (north of Boston) and never looked back. I suppose we were meant for each other – Baltimore girl, Boston boy, parents to a son raised in Vermont – now living in Albuquerque, New Mexico – a transient three, aren’t we?

Its taken me a life time to learn there is truth in Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotation, “the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”   I’ve come to many more conclusions about how life takes unexpected turns as I have written my memoir.My reckonings will give me plenty more to write about.

towson high school

Photo Above: My high school in Towson, Maryland.

Interesting fact: Swimmer Michael Phelps, holder of 22 Olympic medals, also graduated from this school about twenty-five years after me.

Photo below: Overhead view of where I grew up – moved to three different homes in the same neighborhood. My dad built all three. The first house was a small cape style house, then onto what might be described as a southern colonial farmhouse and then to a 1970’s modern-style home which is smack in the middle of this picture.

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Tomorrow’s blog is about a hard learned lesson that happened in the 2nd of my childhood homes.Sue’s memoir

Do return to All Things Fulfilling tomorrow. This blog is brought to you by Sue Batton Leonard, author of Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected.

Moving and Birth

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untitled“Having a baby is painful in order to show how serious a thing life is.” ~ author Lisa See

At the end of last week my husband and I changed residences. As we went through the process, I began to think of the analogy between moving and giving birth:

Through both you have to do the work and you are faced with labor. Yet if you want to make way for newness in your life, you must bear down, face it and go through it, whether you want to or not.

Once you’ve gotten through each event, you can look back and laugh. You forget all the pain and agony that was packed with the experience.

I’ve moved many times throughout my life. My most transient years were after I graduated college until the time I married. Come on back tomorrow to All Things Fulfilling. We will be visiting the neighborhood where I lived for the first 18 years of my life. It is where many of the stories in my memoir took place – in Towson, Maryland.

Sue’s memoir