Life Stories Altered

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If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

Today’s narrative is about raising children. The other day I was in the library and picked up a copy of Psychology Today magazine and came across an article called in the October 2015 issue called Crisis U.

Long story short, the article by Hara Estroff Marano was about the “downstream consequences of kids being shielded from failure and adversity all their lives.”

“How does this happen?” You might ask.

There are a lot of psychologists, sociologists and behaviorists looking at this syndrome –  students who get great grades, yet are lacking in skills of taking care of themselves or they are developmentally delayed in their life skills. It happens due to over-involved parents or “helicopter parents.”

An expert, a dean from Sanford University recently appeared on Fox News talking about this very troubling issue facing young adults. Here is his article.

Several winters ago at Colorado Mountain College in a public speaking class, I presented a talk on Helicopter Parenting. I outlined how to  recognize the signs that indicate when parents are over-involved and the results on the behavioral patterns of young adults. I received high accolades from the teacher. She said “I fully convinced her how detrimental this is to the student.”HelicopterParentsIf you have children, I’d suggest you read these articles because a lifetime story can be altered in harmful ways when parents do not allow their children to learn age appropriate lessons (such as coping, resilience and resourcefulness) themselves. It can create a life-long dependency on parents that is unhealthy.

This blog is brought to you by the award-winning author of Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected and short stories Lessons of Heart & Soul.

 

 

 

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Colored Me Beautifully

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Do you remember back when civilty and common courtesy ruled? Please understand I share this story as an example of those times, not for self-serving purposes. I mean that.

My mother recently went through her hope chest, and sent some wonderful things that she had been saving for me. I couldn’t believe what she held on to for so many years.

In 1974, when I was 19 years old, I had a car accident. It was nothing more than a small fender bender and I think my Dad paid for the damages out of his pocket they were so minimal. At the time I thought it was the biggest tragedy that had ever befallen me. Never did it occur to me that I had been through much worse than that and survived the experience.

My twin sister was in the passenger seat and there were no injuries other than to the spirit. I was beside myself. (You know how teenage girls tend to over react, right?) I felt awful I had damaged someone else’s car and my parent’s vehicle.

I couldn’t believe the kindness the man that I rammed into showed me. He offered to come home with me to help me tell my parents because I was such a wreck. My sister can testify that the man upheld his offer.

Furthermore, after it was all done and over, the wife of the man I rammed into sent this note to my parents to let him know their car had been repaired and all was well. No hard feelings.

note about my car accident when 19 correct position

(Truthfully, I don’t have any clue what I said or did to warrant the comments on this note.)

Today’s message on All Things Fulfilling is for all parents. I want to share what John Locke once said, “We are like cameleons, we take our color and our hue of our moral character, from those who are around us.” ~ John Locke

Paint a picture of people

Thank you, Mom & Dad. I am so glad I grew up in an era of old-fashioned civilty and you raised me to have a strong moral compass. According to Locke, your colors must have rubbed off on me.  I hope I always stay true to my values.

This blog is brought to you by the award-winning author of Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected and Short Stories: Lessons of Heart & Soul, Sue Batton Leonard.

 

 

 

 

Advent Day #15 – Gentle Inspiration

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Advent Day #15: Gentle Inspiration

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. ~ Robert Orben

Are you a parent who is concerned with raising children who will have their values in the right place? In today’s world of bringing up children, the challenges are different than in previous generations. Let’s be honest! There is an overwhelming focus on material things and kids feeling “entitled.” It’s what many parents are up against.

Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected is written by a baby boomer who remembers when life was much simpler. There are many life lessons incorporated into the award-winning anthology of stories but you must read between the lines to get some of them. This publication is not an offensive hard core religious story and it is not full of in-your-face parenting tips. It is a “story of trust, faith, friendship and deep love for one another. Readers will be inspired by……a life most fulfilling.” ~ Barbara Gueldner, Ph.D.,MSE Licensed Psychologist

listening to booksListen to the award-winning audio book as a family. The stories, very appropriate for ages 12+,  give a jumping off point to handling those important conversations you have been meaning to have with your children. There is nothing that helps get a conversation started better than humor – that’s inside it!

To order the award-winning book Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected, please follow these links:

Audio Book  http://amzn.to/1trrTl9
Paperback  http://amzn.to/1qmcEHI
e-Book  http://amzn.to/1lx7oRh

 

Finding the Lesson

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“Live joyously among your occupations.” ~ St. Francis de Sales

“What do you want to do when you grow up?” Children are often asked. In my generation and particularly in the generations that came before the “baby boomers” it was usually assumed that little girls wanted to be wives and mothers, above all else.

How my sister and I loved our baby dolls.We paid so much attention to them because we were practicing for the real thing. There was Thumbelina to care for and Betsy Wetsy. “Betsy” was the top toy of the century in the 1950s.

Girlfriends, do you remember this ad?

It never occurred to me when I was a child that not all women are blessed with children. When I became an adult, I faced a big realization that having children is a great honor to be taken very seriously.

Wouldn’t it be a more perfect world if every parent grasped this concept prior to conceiving? Good parenting is an awesome responsibility. Even finding the joy and meaning in difficult parenting conditions is what I think the great philosopher St. Francis is also talking about.

Do return tomorrow, on Saturday. I have a special blog planned for my husband for our anniversary! It gives a little insight into our marriage.

This blog is brought to you by the award-winning author Sue Batton Leonard. For information on her EVVY award winning book, Gift of a Lifetime: Finding Fulfilling Things in the Unexpected, please visit this link.http://amzn.to/1ti4XVi

Balance Meant the See Saw

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The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. ~ Anonymous

It was a different world when I was a kid and so were the childhood stresses and routines.  When I was growing up childhood stress was about whether or not we remembered to bring our gym uniforms home to have them washed, starched and ironed to perfection before putting them back on again. Too many demerits for forgetting affected your grade. If you are a baby boomer, you’ll  relate to that.

Life wasn’t quite as frantic for children as it is today, running from activity to activity. When the school bell rang at 3:10 pm, it was time to go play outside with neighborhood children. Only if it rained, were  you allowed to be indoors to watch an hour of TV, perhaps “Father’s Knows Best.  You knew from routine that when dad came home from work you’d hear your mother shout out “Time for Dinner.”  It was time to gather around the family table. If there was an empty chair the family felt all broken up.

With certainty, Easter meant going to church, and getting all dressed up with white gloves, shiny white or black patent leather “mary jane’s” with a little pocketbook to match. There were rituals that went with every holiday. And  you knew without a doubt that mom’s card club or bowling team met every Thursday afternoon at 1 o’clock sharp.

Back then, life was more certain and families were more intact. see saw 2When raising children in the 1950s and 1960s, there was no need to read books about the mind, body and spirit connection because in my opinion, life was already lived in accordance with more wholesome core values. Balance was what you talked about in connection with the see-saw, not in counseling sessions trying to bring harmony back to an entire family.

Here is a link to an article by Jennifer Buckett that speaks to the issue of past and present values and morals. http://bit.ly/NP5FaN. I don’t necessarily agree with every charge in this article, but overall Buckett makes some good points.

I’d like to hear from our readers. Do you agree that life was lived more in balance in the 1950s and 1960s? What are your thoughts on our societal changes? Are they for the better or worse in raising families?

Come on back tomorrow to the space where independent words, thoughts and views are all part of the business. This blog brought to you by www.CornerstoneFulfillmentService.com.

I Am a Lucky Gal!

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“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
– Bill Cosby

Dear Dad, 

Happy Father’s Day! On this day, I would like to say thank you for the way you raised us four kids. It was not until I had a child of my own, did I come to fully understand and appreciate some of the things you said and did for “my own good.” 

  • Thanks for making me do things, whether I wanted to or not.
  • Thanks for not always giving me what I wanted but always fulfilling my real needs.
  • Thanks for making me accountable for my own actions and not always taking up for me.
  • Thanks for your quiet, steady presence in my life.
  • Thanks for being the “king of rig.” There were many things we had because you “rigged things” your way, with your building skills.
  • Thanks for not letting us whine (well……not too much).
  • When we whined….. thanks for not listening!
  • Thanks for doing your best at keeping me centered and balanced– my husband, your son-in-law, appreciates that.
  • Thanks for the love you have given to your eight grandchildren and teaching them the lessons that their parents forgot.
  • Thanks for giving me security in knowing that you would always be there for me, no matter what. 

We are grateful that you have lived to a healthy, ripe age. Your eight grandchildren are as crazy about you as your four children are!  Happy Father’s Day, Dad ~ You are in my thoughts on this day! 

 Love, Your Elder Twin Daughter    

      Grandfather & Grandson together last year.

 Wonder where that 22 yr old got his  genes for extremely premature gray hair?

This blog brought to you by www.CornerstoneFulfillmentService.com.